.

To be honest I wondered if my topic for this week’s article, reflection, was still appropriate now that New Zealand is being re-visited by the COVID-19 virus and parts of our country are in lockdown.

 

I was going to start off by painting a beautiful picture. You see in South Westland, just near the township of Fox Glacier, is the beautiful Lake Matheson. It’s renowned worldwide for its stunning reflections. On any given day, when the conditions are just right the reflections are so perfect that it’s near on impossible to know what’s up and what’s down. Aoraki Mt Cook soars above you, and also at your feet.

 

I felt that this was the perfect metaphor for reflecting on our professional roles. When the conditions are near on perfect, then so is the reflection. It’s finding those perfect conditions that is the key to getting the thought processes moving.

 

A friend of mine, Richard Spackman, has recently stepped away from his hectic life running a thriving photocopy and print business, to travel the world with his family. COVID-19 has put paid to this and his tour of the world has become a world tour of New Zealand. During this time he has found time to self-reflect. He’s even written about it. The advantage that Richard has is that the conditions for his reflection are perfect. There is no noise or angst, no pressing timelines, no insidious conflicts or unrelenting perceptions or expectations. He has time. He has time to think.

 

And that reminded me again about how important it is to find the right conditions to get the most out of your reflections. Then the latest round of COVID-19 hit and I began to wonder whether this actually  was the best time to talk about finding the optimal time in your professional lives to go away and think.

 

I mean, as we all head back into various forms of lockdown and restriction, with it’s angst and uncertainty, the whole world seems to change once more, and the need isn’t to slow down and reflect, but instead it is to speed up and be ultra visible. As leaders in times like this we are expected to marshal the troops, know the answers to those questions that haven’t even been asked yet, and to always, always be one step ahead of the mob … or the virus … or that parent who thinks this is some sort of crazy conspiracy.

 

This isn’t time to slip away and find time for reflection. Or is it?

 

When I first thought about writing this piece I imagined that I’d be encouraging leaders to actively make time, and large chunks of it, to get away and do some solid reflection. 

However there is still a need for reflection in these busy COVID times. We just aren’t in a time rich environment. 

 

Is this therefore the time for micro reflections? Instead of a half day here, or a whole day there, I’m thinking ten minutes here, or fifteen minutes over there. 

And during these times your reflections aren’t going to be long flowing inquiry based examinations of your reason for being. Instead they’ll be succinct, targeted, and to the point.

 

How do these steps sound for a micro reflection during these crazy times?

 

  1. Reconnect with your purpose and what you’re trying to achieve
  2. Reflect on how you’ve got to this point and how you’ll know when you’ve got to your destination
  3. Refract on how this might look with another lens, and a consider if there is another way/s
  4. Commit to the thoughts that you have – if you’re making a change, commit to it. If you’re not, commit to that. But give yourself some flexibility. When new information arises be flexible enough to know that your commitment may change.
  5. Take time to breathe and let yourself know that you’ve got this
  6. And finally; read this quote by Maya Angelou.

 

“Do the best you can until you know better.

Then, when you know better, DO better.”

 

Now go back to your busy role knowing you’ve got this.

 

So where can you do this? Schools are notoriously busy. 

 

A ten minute walk around the grounds of the school straight after interval when the grounds are empty … 

A fifteen minute “alternate” route on your way to school in the car ….

A twelve minute escape to a room in the school that is seldom used….

 

You’ll know the places to look. Your office isn’t always the best place for this.The ideal is to find a place that is quiet. You just need some peace to get your micro reflection going.

 

Even Lake Matheson has days when the reflection is ruined by the weather. So don’t be hard on yourself if your own micro reflection gets messed up by the “constant noise” of school life around you. There’s always tomorrow. But see if you can make it a habit, and see if it makes a difference.

 

Steve

 

 

 

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Photo by Selin Şahin

 

You probably know the classic “conscience” model of decision making where you have a small Angel on one shoulder and a small Devil on the other. A decision needs to be made and they compete with each other to convince you which path to take. Each takes turns to whisper in your ear either promising or threatening depending on the choice.

In this post I’m going to ask you to imagine a similar pair of “advisers “positioned ready for action, but in this case, one is a small (but alert and tough looking) lizard, and the other is a mini version of yourself 10 years in the future.

Both are exactly what they seem.

.   .   .

Let’s pretend it’s a typical week at school. Over the weekend you were at a community fundraiser – both days. On Monday at a PLD course. On Tuesday you went with your senior students to a leadership development day. That evening, you worked your way through the email pile left after two days out of the office. You were still well behind (and tired) by 10:30pm that night when you finally stopped.

Now let’s fast forward to Wednesday. It’s 11:00am – a break time at your school and a teacher pops into your office (where you’d just done your best to resolve an ongoing issue with the PTA fundraising committee). Looking a bit pale they volunteer, “I know this is late notice, but I can feel a migraine coming on and I can’t go to the maths quiz tonight. We need someone with the team . . .”

Boom. You now have a choice to make.

Your lizard starts talking first. She was wide awake and ready for this very moment.

“Say you’ll go. Say it quickly. If you hesitate they’ll think you’re annoyed with them. You’re the principal, everyone knows you’ll fix this . . . unless you don’t! Then they’ll think you’re lazy!”

Over on the other shoulder a less confident, quieter voice, hesitantly says, “you shouldn’t offer to help this time. You know you need to rest. You could ask someone else – maybe one of the parents . . .”

The lizard interrupts, “that’s a terrible thought. Don’t you care? The parents will know you couldn’t be bothered!”

And back and forward go the opposing thoughts.

In this tiny vignette of school leadership, the lizard represents your ancient brain. The bit hardwired to see danger and threats everywhere. The bit that used to keep your ancestors alive in a past world with saber-tooth tigers and no “best before” labels. It did a great job for millennia as proven by your existence today.

But it’s not helping you this Wednesday.

On your other shoulder is the thoughtful, rational you. The bit that intellectually knows that you’re overworked already and that you can choose not to go to the quiz (with all the attached upside of that decision).

This interplay of your reactive, threat seeking brain, with your rational mind, is rerun hundreds of times over a week – in fact every time you make a conscious choice!

Let’s look at some more choices versus voices.

You need to prepare a board report by tomorrow.

Rational voice: “Shut your office door, turn off your phone and email. Get the job done.”

Lizard voice: “A good principal is accessible. Shutting the door ruins this. Leave the door open and do the report tonight.”

You feel unwell but there is a staff meeting scheduled after school.

Rational voice: “Tell your Leadership Team. Ask them to run the meeting. If they can’t, cancel it. Go home either way.”

Lizard voice: “You have to be at the meeting. You’re the leader, you can’t ask others to go if you won’t yourself. What say they make bad decisions? You have to stay.”

A teacher calls in sick at 8:00 AM and you can’t get a reliever.

Rational voice: “You’ve got important work planned. Split the class across the school.”

Lizard voice: “Take the class. The other teachers don’t want extra kids. If they know you’re in the Office they’ll judge you. Better to do your other work in the weekend.”

You had 2 evening meetings in a row.

Rational voice: “Tell your team you are coming in late . Use the extra hour to go for the walk you missed due to the meetings.”

Lizard voice: “Turn up at 7:00 AM as usual. It’s just part of your job to be short of time. What will people think if they see you exercising in school time!”

This interplay of rational choices being sabotaged by your lizard brain is exactly what often stops smart people making better long-term choices.

.   .   .

The lizard brain is a physical lump near your brain stem. It’s actually a metaphor for a part of your amygdala and it reacts to threats, real or imagined, instantly and automatically.

Steven Pressfield calls this “The Resistance” in his book, “Do The Work” (which I highly recommend you read sometime).

.   .   .

It seems that the world (and our leader’s roles) have changed more quickly than our ancient survival systems .

If nature had kept up with reality, your lizard would be whispering things like:

“You have to exercise regularly or you’ll get sick. Go for a walk now.”

“Go home. It’s your daughter’s birthday. She’s more important than completing that plan right now.”

“Ask someone to cover your lunch duty – that unexpected meeting earlier shouldn’t mean you don’t eat.”

Sadly, our lizard will probably say exactly the opposite because our ancient brain is not forward thinking. It’s impulsive, reactive and looking for immediate threats. If if can’t find a real one, it’ll invent something – just to keep you cautious.

I’m as vulnerable to these insidious voices as most people, but am trying a plan to lessen their power.

My strategy is to deliberately build different habits. I want to quieten the negative voices by taking them out of the decision making. A habit can do this because a habit is a largely unconscious behaviour. It’s a default position. Critically, a habit (once formed) doesn’t take conscious thought so removes the opportunity for internal debate.

One that I am currently working on, is not saying “yes” to extra work when I am already too busy. This goes against my natural urge to help people, so is often not easy. I’d give myself a success rating of 7/10 at this stage. I suspect I’ve spent far too many years listening to the “voices” so it’s going to take time to quieten them.

.   .   .

How’s your lizard treating you? Is it whispering nonsense when you rationally know better? If so, it’s time to stop listening and time to be more professional, for you, the people who care about you, and the school that you serve.

 

Dave

 

Note 1:  Thanks to Michael Fletcher, a fellow New Zealand principal, for the title of this post. Michael puts up really sensible short YouTube videos for us all from time to time (like this one).

Note 2:  “Professional” = working in a way that is both effective and sustainable.

 

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Today we are sharing an idea that will be familiar to those of you who have read “The Forty Hour Principal”. It’s about positive thought patterns.

Photo by NeONBRAND  

Archery is a funny sort of sport. You make an immense physical effort but must keep completely steady and minutely controlled throughout. The margins between perfection and missing are very, very small, and with that comes the need for intense mental discipline.

A few years ago I was privileged to hear a top coach talking about this mental effort and one thing that he said has always stuck in my mind –

“It’s human nature to dwell on the mistakes. When you shoot 6 arrows and 5 are in the gold and one is not, most people walk up to the target looking at and regretting the one that missed. This is not helpful. You should be thinking about the 5 that succeeded and focusing on what you did to make that happen. You need to train yourself to focus on the successes.”

I have no doubt that the coach was correct in archery terms, but the reason I wrote it down at the time was that it is such a great metaphor for life in general. Why do we often default to the negative, even when surrounded by successes?

“Why do we relive the ‘stuff ups’?”

Most of us will have experienced that sick feeling that comes from thinking about mistakes we’ve made – sometimes days or weeks after the actual event. Rationally, even during the toughest days we will have experienced positives and negatives, wins and losses in the game of school leadership, but the things that have gone wrong are the things that spring straight to mind.

Assuming you are (at least) competent at your job, you will have exponentially more successes than failures in any given day. It would certainly make more sense to relive these (successes) because the emotions associated with succeeding are more positive than those aligned with failing. They’re more fun to dwell on and are better for your long term health.

So how? How do we keep our attention on the positives?

The answer seems to be simple yet will take deliberate effort– we need to retrain our thoughts.

There is a huge amount of research that explains the human tendency to focus on both actual and possible mistakes. For our ancestors, it made sense to be hyper aware of mistakes at a basic survival level. If they forgot where the sabretooth tiger lived, they died.

The theory is that this part of our evolutionary brain is incredibly deep seated and operates at a sub-conscious level. It’s the piece of your brain that instantly kicks into gear when a teacher tells you that they can’t find a student, or your Board Chairperson messages you saying they need to talk to you today – urgently.

The good news is that most of the threats we now face are either very small (I haven’t submitted our Charter by the due date) or entirely fictional (it’ll be a disaster if I have a sick day). The even better news is that it has been proven that we can retrain our thinking patterns to operate in more positive ways.

A pioneer in this field is positive psychology professor Martin Seligman. He has written a number of best-selling books on this topic with the most well-known being “Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life” ³. Three key techniques he promotes are:

  • Separating fact from fiction
  • Identifying a positive
  • Cultivating an attitude of gratitude

Separating fact from fiction – this is a vital first step in retraining your default reaction to events. When you find yourself focused on something that went wrong, ask yourself the question, “on a scale of 1 – 10, how bad was that?” 10 being nuclear war has started, 1 being no consequence at all. The fact is that most of what we experience is far closer to a 1 than a 10. 

Identifying a positive – is that glass half full or half empty? It’s a mental habit to look for positives and habits can be learnt. We all know people who “naturally” default to either viewpoint, but the truth is that people  can  change their default with deliberate practice.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude – there is no disputing the science that feeling grateful is very strongly associated with a huge range of positive outcomes. Happiness, strong relationships, job satisfaction, and even health are closely linked to a sense of gratitude. 

While there is nothing particularly new in these techniques, they are simple in concept and (with deliberate effort) achievable. The challenge is that you may need to do things differently; i.e. shift your habitual thinking patterns.

This may not be easy, but if you find yourself constantly looking at the ‘arrows that missed’, it’s time to take action. Your happiness and wellness are at stake.

 

Dave

 

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³ Martin Seligman, “Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life”, 2006, Vintage Books, New York.

It’s that time of year again. Maybe you’re like me and in the distance you see a light. Possibly it’s the light at the end of the tunnel, and equally possible it’s the light of an on-coming freight train. Either way it’ll be here before you know it, and even if it is a freight train, you’ll be able to get up afterwards, dust yourself down and head towards the real light at the end of the tunnel in the knowledge that the last Term of the year has less than a week left in it.

Time then to share a little perspective with you, before you head off into the summer break.

A couple of days ago I was feeling particularly swamped (nothing unusual about that), slightly isolated, and naggingly negative about the year that will just about be over.

But then a friend shared with me a simple idea after I’d spent an hour or so unloading my current issues that were taking up far too much of my time. I bemoaned to my friend that this was what my principalship had come to – a seemingly endless list of issues to work through, packed one on top of each other.

My friend pulled out a pencil. On a spare piece of paper he drew two circles side by side.

In one circle he asked me to write a number. That number was the number of people that I worked with in my school; pupils, parents, staff. My school has 400 students, throw in 40 staff, and nearly 300 families, and you get a number that is pretty big. If you estimate that most families have 2 parents who care, then my number of people hits the 1000 mark. Wow! That’s a lot of people to have some sort of relationship with!

Then my friend told me to count up the number of people who I had had negative relationship issues throughout the year. Obviously some of these people I had multiple issues rising again and again, but the number of people was small. 

 

And there it was, in beautiful simplicity – a thing called PERSPECTIVE!

 

Yes, 2019 has had its fair share of trouble. But if I was to only look at the troubling times then I might as well not come back for 2020. The reality of a clear perspective is that the troubling times were well and truly outrun and outgunned by great relationships, great times and great fun.

So my simple challenge to you, as you pick yourself up and dust yourself down in a week’s time is to do the two circle challenge and give yourself some much needed perspective.

You can use the two circle technique on all sorts of issues. Yes, it’s probably overly simplistic. And yes, it’s not particularly scientific, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s a tool for you and only you, and it’s designed to give you a positive perspective jolt without needing to think about it too much. It’ll show you graphically that when you consider the big picture, you’ve done a bloody good job all year.

So take time to pat yourself on the back. You’ve done well! Have a fabulous break everyone.

Steve

 

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